Car Stories

May 22nd, 2012

When my son was little I finally bought a car. We lived in San Francisco, at Franklin and Clay, which is one of the hillier sections of the city. Parking, even with a parking control sticker, was pretty tough to come by. One day I came home after an afternoon doing whatever it was, my 2 year old in the back seat, and there was a PRIMO parking place right by my building. If angles had been singing, that parking place couldn’t have been more miraculous because it was also big enough that even I could parallel park in it. Which I did. As I was getting my son out of his car seat and gathering up our stuff, I noticed an elderly woman walking slowly s l o w l y up Clay Street. Which was steep right there. Very steep. And it was a warm afternoon.

She reached my car about the time I had my son in my arms. And she stopped and I said hello. And then she asked me for a ride. She had a doctor’s appointment on the other side of two hills and she was walking up those steep, steep hills. My first thought was, but don’t you see this parking place I got? RIGHT BY MY BUILDING? But I said yes, of course, because no one should make a 70 or 80 year old woman walk up two more steep hills to her doctor’s appointment.

I like to attribute all my subsequent experiences with parking mojo to giving an old woman a ride to her doctor’s appointment.

Some years later, when we’d moved north and my son was about ten, I think, we were driving from wherever to home. And I notice, as I am driving, that there is a woman who — well, if you’ve seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, imagine the 50 or 60 year old Greek matriarchs in that movie, plump and dark and a bit, well, blowsy, and that’s what this woman looked like. She was wearing business appropriate clothes, though. She was obviously in a hurry. She was practically running along the sidewalk.

We stopped at a light and the woman reached the corner and then ran across two lanes of traffic to my car and bent down to the front passenger window. She looked harried and flustered and I opened the window and she asked me, begged really, for a ride to the bus stop. My first thought was, Hell no! You look like a crazy lady with your hair flying all around and you are accosting complete strangers. But of course her ink black hair was flying all around, she was not dressed for running yet had been running because she was going to miss her bus and she was pretty far from the stop, to be honest.

So I gave her a ride and made her wear her seatbelt even though she didn’t want to. I dropped her at the bus stop and my son and I went home.

The reason I gave two complete strangers rides was for more than just the obvious. I did it because when I was a teenager, my mother was a volunteer who drove cancer patients to their chemo treatments. And one lovely lady, who was dying of cancer, came to live with us for four months because none of her children would take her in.

And I have never, ever forgotten that.

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Me and The Future of Publishing? Money Talks.

May 17th, 2012

I assume most readers of this blog are aware that I have been self-publishing my reverted backlist. So far, I’ve gotten my rights back to all but one of my older titles, and I hope to have that reversion in hand shortly. In addition, I’ve self-published some original work.

Here’s what my publishing schedule looks like for 2011-2012 — not necessarily in order, by the way:

2011
  • Traditionally published My Immortal Assassin (Grand Central)
  • Self-published Lord Ruin (Backlist)
  • Traditionally published digital-only short story The King’s Dragon (Macmillan, was paid an advance that earned out)
  • Self-published The Spare (Backlist)
  • Self-published Stolen Love (Backlist)
  • Self-published Future Tense (original, a short story set in the My Immortals series, was previously given away free by Grand Central)
  • Self-published Moonlight (a short story originally published in Mammoth Book of Regency Romance, I retained digital rights)
  • Traditionally published My Dangerous Pleasure (Grand Central)
  • Self-published DX A Crimson City Novella (Backlist)
  • Self-published A Darker Crimson (Backlist)
2012
  • Traditionally published Not Wicked Enough (Berkley)
  • Self-published Free Fall (Original, a novella set in the My Immortals series)
  • Self-published Not Wicked Enough in the UK and selected territories (See above, Berkley has North American rights only)
  • Self-publish novella in anthology Midnight Scandals (original, with authors Courtney Milan and Sherry Thomas, August 2012)
  • Traditionally publish Not Proper Enough (Berkley) September 2012
  • Self-publish Not Proper Enough in the UK and selected territories (See above, Berkley has North American rights only)
  • Self-publish Scandal in UK and selected territories (Berkley has North American rights only) Still in print in North America
  • Self-publish Indiscreet in UK and selected territories (Berkley has North American rights only) To be reprinted in North America
  • Self-publish Passion’s Song (Backlist)
  • Self-publish Book 5 of the My Immortals series (original)

Before self-publishing I would have just about ZERO chance of finding a traditional publisher interested in taking on Scandal (a RITA finalist), Indiscreet (Bookseller’s Best Award winner), Not Wicked Enough and Not Proper Enough. ZERO. Because if it were possible, my agent or her sub-agent would likely have done so. Instead, I can DIY and start making money 60 days after the books go on sale.

Before self-publishing I would have had ZERO chance of finishing out the My Immortals series. Maybe, you’re thinking, the series sucks. Well, Book 2, My Forbidden Desire, was a RITA finalist. Book 3, My Immortal Assassin, was an RT top pick. Those two things don’t typically happen to books that suck. Not only that, books 1 and 2 have earned out. Book 3 nearly so (release date was January 2011). Book 4 hasn’t been out even a year yet so I haven’t had the statement with returns on it, but it’s on a respectable pace.

Some figures

In 2010, my writing income was 17,000.00
In 2011, my writing income was 62,000.00
In 2012, through May 1, my writing income is $17,000.00

My Question

So where the HELL do the Authors Guild and the AAR get off with their bullshit about self-publishing destroying publishing? Maybe it’s true that it’s destroying the publishing business. But it’s sure as hell not destroying the writing business. And BOTH those organizations are supposed to care more about the writing business.

Edited to add: When I was originally drafting this post, I specifically mentioned Amazon and then edited it out. But I think Amazon needs to be mentioned to make the link between the AAR and AG’s stance, Amazon and authors really clear. What publishers seem to have missed is that authors like me who were doing poorly in terms of money in are now in the position of doing very well indeed. Amazon is the test bed that proves low prices drive sales and that the business model for eBooks is NOT and should not be the same model as for print.

I mean that seriously. Both those organizations are supposed to my representing MY interests, as a professional writer. Take a good look at my writing schedule and my income and tell me where my interests lie. I would like to know why the Author’s Guild and the AAR don’t support a publishing endeavor that does that to my gross writing income.

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I Invite You to Whine

May 14th, 2012

Because I’m going to whine, too. This is the whiney post.

1. I would like to know who is responsible for cutting 2 hours out of my day. That’s the only way it’s possible that by the time I finish all the stuff I have to do, or decide what I’m going to ignore, it’s time for bed and I got no where near enough writing done.

2. Why, WHY, when I have a sign on my door that says “DO NO DISTURB unless you’re bleeding, maybe” do people think that means “HEY CAROLYN WANTS TO TALK!”

3. I have the cutest shoes ever in the world. They have sparkles! But I think they’re making my feet hurt. ::cries inconsolably::

4. Who put all this junk in my room? And WHY, after I spend an hour throwing a bunch of it away, is there MORE of it? Why?

5. My email is breeding. Great. Because that means it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the bits and bytes start doing the same thing. Don’t turn your back on your computer for a minute.

Some good news

1. Page proofs came for Not Proper Enough. I finished them in a day. I think it came out good.

2. Arjun Rampal tweeted a link to video of him doing a shoot for Men’s Health Magazine. Oh my. You can watch the video on my Arjun fan page. Scroll down a bit to the videos. Probably safe for work, except it will be blazingly obvious that you’re not working so wait till you get home or watch on your phone.

Leave your best whine in the comments.

P.S. I just put in tags for the post and there was already one for whining.

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Review Copies!

May 5th, 2012

Update! I’m adding another 10 review copies.

I have 7 more review copies of Free Fall available . . . I will gift an Amazon copy. If you need an ePub, let me know.

Demons and witches. You know you want to read and review this.

 

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A Funny Tax Story. No, Really!

May 4th, 2012

I’ve been trying to get all my ducks in a row so I can get payment from an Italian publisher. I had to fill out a form for the Italians and then fill out a form for the IRS so that the IRS can certify I am a resident of the US for the purposes of paying taxes. The form you fax to the IRS includes a statement under penalty of perjury, blah blah blah which I signed and faxed.

A century passes and I get a letter that says they didn’t get the statement under penalty of perjury. I thought about asking “WTF?” but decided it would be better to just type out the language from the form, sign it and resend it. Which I did.

Half a century passes…

Today I got two documents in the mail from the IRS. One was my certification that I am a US tax payer and the other was a letter informing me my additional documentation had not been received and if they didn’t get it pronto, they wouldn’t be able to provide my certification.

I’m glad they arrived on the same day.

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Cooking with Carolyn – Devonshire Cream

April 29th, 2012

Again by Twitter request:

Devonshire Cream is not readily available in the US, though you can certainly buy it. This yummy spread is especially good on freshly baked scones. It’s supposed to be easy to make so I went in search of recipes. My first attempt was an utter failure. All subsequent attempts have been a resounding success.

There are two methods, the oven method and the frying-pan method. The oven method is probably the least work, but technology may conspire against your success. Basically, what you do is heat the whipping cream in a covered oven-proof bowl at a very very low temperature for a long time. For the oven, you need 180 F, and some ovens, it seems, turn off after several hours of being on. You’re supposed to leave the oven on for 8-12 hours and then come along and scrape all the delicious Devonshire cream from the top.

In my case, I didn’t get the opportunity to find out if our oven would shut off because someone came along, ignored my note to leave the oven alone, and turned it off. Damn. But my whipped cream in that attempt was also only 18% fat. Total fail.

The frying pan method takes more attention, but it is less vulnerable to someone turning off the oven because the frying pan method looks like something is going on. Which it is. If you’re home for several hours anyway, this method works great.

Ingredients

  • The very highest fat whipping cream you can find. Shoot for the high 20′s. Anything less will disappoint. Not the ultra-pasturized kind either. To find out the total fat content, check the nutrition label for fat contact percentage, saturated and unsaturated. Add them together and make sure you get a number in the high 20′s. The higher the better.

Hardware

  • Big frying pan
  • Heat diffuser (this thing you stuck UNDER the frying pan so it’s not sitting directly over the fire.)
  • Slotted spoon
  • Container for the cream you scrape off

Pour 1-2 pints of whipping cream in the frying pan. Put it on low over heat diffuser. Cover. Every hour or so scrape off the top layer with slotted spoon. The recipe I looked at said not to use a slotted spoon but that was a frustrating failure. Slotted spoon. Put the stuff into a container. Repeat until the cream is gone or you’re tired of it. Cover the stuff in the container and let rest in the fridge.

You’re done.

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Gadget Girl Makes An Observation

April 25th, 2012

No, I’m not procrastinating, why? I don’t know why you’d even say that.

Anyway.

I am addicted to have the following apps on these devices:

  • Kindle App – all devices
  • HootSuite (Twitter app) on iPad3
  • Seismic (twitter app on iMac)
  • Twitter (on iPhone 4)

Here’s what’s started happening:

Me at my desktop working hard and taking DESERVED breaks for twitter: Someone has obviously said something funny, but seismic SUCKS at showing the conversation history. I grab the iPad and open up HootSuite, find the tweet and click “show conversation.” Ah, now I can tract back and find out who said the funny thing and decide if I want to pretend I was in on the funny thing all along.

Me on my iPad: I take a break from playing Quordy to see what’s happening on twitter. Oh, hey! There’s someone I want to follow and/or add to a list. I put down the iPad and go to seismic on the iMac because seismic makes it EASY to follow someone and add them to a list. Hootsuite not as much.

I’m on the MacBookPro and someone tweets about a great book. Woot! I pick up the iPad and use the Kindle store app to buy the book…

I’m somewhere away from the iMac and MacBook and don’t have the iPad with me (OMFG!) I pick up reading my book on the Kindle App.

Seriously. I have gadgets within reach with apps galore, and I switch between devices, sometimes without leaving my chair, ONLY because I want to do something that some other App does better on a different device.

Questions

1. Why can’t someone make a Twitter app that melds all the things people actually do so it’s all in just a click or swipe?

2. Did anyone foresee Apple being this evil? I didn’t. But now I’m an Apple gadget girl and it feels so good.

Uh Oh. A Rant

I also have a Kindle Fire. In my Kindle account, here’s my devices:

  1. Kindle for iPad1
  2. Kindle for iPad3
  3. Kindle for iPhone
  4. Kindle for Kindle Fire
  5. Kindle for Mac (iMac)
  6. Kindle for Mac 2 (MacBookPro)
  7. Kindle Cloud Reader

Every single one is legally purchased. My son is currently using the original iPad. I read across devices.

Someone explain to me why publishers should limit the number of devices that a book can be read on.

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Brenda Novak at the Riskies

April 25th, 2012

The fabulous Brenda Novak is at the Riskies with an amazing blog about her writing journey, self-publishing backlist and titles that didn’t sold. There’s a book giveaway, too. DON’T MISS IT!!

Go read about Brenda and all that she does at the Riskies

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Carolyn’s Recipe for Candied Ginger – Plus!

April 22nd, 2012

The subject came up on twitter and since the process for making candied ginger, and obtaining the amazing left-overs, isn’t amenable to 140 characters, I thought I’d quickly share it here.

Ingredients

  • Fresh ginger (a big old hunk)
  • Sugar (baker’s sugar works best but regular sugar is fine.)

Utensils

  • Sauce pan (required)
  • Long handled wooden spoon (required)
  • Wire mesh sieve (if you want to easily save off the sugar, required)
  • cooling rack (best if it’s fine enough to hold the ginger (nice to have)
  • A tare scale is helpful but you can always fudge it.

Peel the ginger.

Chop it thinly and into pieces not too much bigger than your thumbnail or, say, smaller than a quarter.
Put the ginger in a sauce pan and just cover with water.

Bring to a boil then lower the heat to medium-ish and let it cook a while, stirring frequently. The original recipe I followed said to cook until it was transparent, but as it turns out, that takes forever unless you are a master chopper and able to chop really thin. I don’t think it’s necessary. Besides, the transparent part happens at a different stage. Basically you want to keep it at a low boil (more than a simmer) for at least 45+ min. I set my timer and come out and stir every 10 minutes.

In order to get a good amount of ginger water you can use for tea (see below), once or twice pour the water off into a suitable container. Add fresh water and continue slow boiling your ginger. Not too often though or your ginger and ginger water will be wimpy.

When it’s transparent or the finest slices are looking transparent, remove the ginger from the heat, save off the remaining water and weigh the ginger. If you don’t have a tare scale, then eyeball it.

Put the ginger back in the saucepan and measure out an amount of sugar equal to the weight of the ginger. (If the total weight of your ginger is 10 ounces, then measure out 10 ounces of sugar.) Or eyeball it. The margin of error appears to be pretty big, but err on the side of more sugar, not less.

Add 3 tablespoons (or so) of water to the ginger. (I know that doesn’t seem like much, but it is.) Pour in your sugar and return the ginger to high heat. Throw in more sugar if you’re worried or anxious for some reason.

Using a LONG wooden handled spoon, constantly stir the ginger. (Why? Because the mixture is HOT, that’s why. The longer handled the spoon, the further your hand is away from the heat.) The sugar and water will boil rapidly and look foamy. Keep stirring until the pan is dry. DO NOT STOP STIRRING OR WALK AWAY at any time while you’re doing this. It’s at this stage that the ginger becomes transparent.

Remove the ginger from the heat and pour the contents onto a fine wire rack with wax paper underneath, or just onto the waxed paper if you don’t have a finely wired rack (otherwise, all those small bits of ginger fall onto the waxed paper anyway.) Let it cool a bit. You can use the spoon to spread it out.

Put the ginger into a bowl with more sugar and toss to coat. When the ginger is completely dry, put the ginger in an air tight container (see below).

Saving the sugar

You will have left over sugar, some of it fine, some of it lumpy with tiny bits of ginger, all of it gingery.

Get another bowl or container. Pour your ginger into a sieve and shake. (See above, transfer the big pieces to your container.) You will have a bunch of fine ginger infused sugar which you can save and use.

Sieve the sugar from the waxed paper. You’ll have the clumpier sugar left, which you can store separately from the finer sugar.

Best hint

Use FRESH ginger.

Bonus Uses

Get a big glass of ice water. Put in fresh lemon juice to taste. Add some ginger sugar to taste (doesn’t take much!). Enjoy.

Put some of the ginger water, how much depends on how hot and gingery you like your tea. Fill the rest of the cup with boiling water. Enjoy.

Use the ginger sugar to flavor stuff. Like other tea. Or in your coffee.

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I don’t think that means what you think

April 21st, 2012

A twitter account for romance eBooks tweeted this review of a book:

[Character Name] is a strong, witty woman and the dialog is much better than most romances I have read.

When I read that, I don’t think, wow! let me get that book! I think, that’s a review by someone who doesn’t read enough romance to know what the hell she/he is talking about.

In other words, the reviewer doesn’t have a breadth of knowledge about the genre to convince me I should pay any attention to what she thinks of the book.

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