Deadlines, Coffee, Swears. No Apologies

If it’s Wednesday and you’re visiting here from the Riskies, Hello! I warned you about the swears. Thanks for coming by. Otherwise, hey.

So, this morning I was nearly defeated.

I have a novella due May 15 and my other writing and day job obligations prevented me from starting on that until April 15. Nothing I could do about that. That’s just what my WIP (and job) from heck have been doing to me.

I started on April 15 and I finished the first draft around May 1. I’m revising now and it’s going well. But I keep staying up too late working on it and then I get to bed all wound up and have trouble falling asleep.

This morning, my iPad alarm went off at 5:15 AM. I think. I mean, I have no knowledge of that happening since I slept through the event. Who knows?

My room lights are set to turn on in a 3 minute fade in, and I know that happened, but I did not notice it until 5:35 AM.

5:35 AM is when I am normally out of the shower and making my coffee.

About a month ago, I started getting up ten minutes early to make coffee at home because the coffee place on the way to work often takes too long and doesn’t make my coffee exactly the way I want it, and at that hour of the morning there is no way I could complain without someone, after I am out the door (I hope) calling me a “rhymes with witch.” I know my limitations.

I got tired of not getting my coffee the way I want it which is this: hellaciously strong 5 shots of espresso in a medium cup filled halfway with whipped cream. At the coffee shop I was already settling for mediocre whipped cream for fuck’s sake. Whipped cream in a can is a crime. It just is.

This morning coffee thing is more crucial than ever because over the last six weeks at the day job, I have had conference calls with the offshore database team and software devs from 6:30AM to 8:30AM. The coffee vendor downstairs in my building does not open until 7:00AM so if I don’t get coffee on my way in, there are days when I have NO COFFEE until 8:30AM and that is not right. Who the hell can live like that, I ask you? No sane person.

Exactly.

So, at home, I can make my coffee exactly the way I like it. And it was actually worth it to me to get up 10 minutes earlier in order to make my coffee the way god intended.

Anyway, this morning, I did not wake up until 5:35 AM, which is when I should have just been emerging from the bathroom freshly showered.

Here’s two things:

1) At night, I get my coffee all ready to go so all I have to do is put it on the stove at 5:35 AM and wait 7 minutes during which time I can put the FRESH whipped cream–there are NO CANS involved, this is FRESH whipped cream, full fucking fat, too– in my coffee thermos. This gives me 3 minutes of wiggle room.

2) If I were to take all my con calls at home, I would be stuck driving in traffic and then it would take 45 minutes door to door instead of 20.

So. There I am in bed all WTH alarm? Hey, the lights are on, that means….omgit’s5:35!!!

And here is the truly impressive thing. My brain said, hey, you have 10 whole minutes! No problem!! Shower while the coffee is on the stove and you’re fine.

Because, there is a reason I have short hair, have exactly 4 shirts for work—

my clothing decision making process is this: did I wear that shirt yet? Is it clean? If it’s No and Yes, I wear that shirt. Since I work from home 2 days a week, there’s no clothing decision process on those days. I wear whatever the hell I want. I only need 3 shirts, but I like to have one in reserve just in case

—do not own a hair dryer and never wear make up and that is because I can do this when I wake up at 5:35AM:

Put the coffee on the stove. Take a really fast shower, get dressed, come out of the bathroom, put the whipped cream in my coffee thermos, pour in the coffee

And let me just mention that the whipped cream goes in first. At the coffee shop in the morning they never do that, and I am afraid to tell them they are doing it WRONG because rhymes with switch, okay?

cup and be in the car and EARLY TO WORK by 2 minutes. (That would be 6:13 AM)

Motherfucker.

Here is a picture of tulips:

Eff Yeah.

Eff Yeah.

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4 Responses to “Deadlines, Coffee, Swears. No Apologies”

  1. SonomaLass says:

    This is why we are friends. Coffee and swears.

  2. LenoreJ says:

    I worship at your fricking shrine!