Revisions! They Are Done!

March 5th, 2012

I just emailed my editor the revision for Not Proper Enough. Yay!!!

I feel like I ought to bring out the fork, even though that’s for finishing a book…. The world conspired to make this a difficult deadline to meet, let me tell you. Job in a new location, massive issues with connectivity at new job location requiring a LOT of hours devising work arounds, just, gosh.

In other news, now I can get back to the last revisions for Future Tense and finishing Dauntless. Courtney Milan, Sherry Thomas and I have been iterating through cover versions. The experience will be worthy of a whole other post.

Anyway.  I do want to share that Not Proper Enough was unexpectedly hot and I knew I’d turned in a hot book. The hero is massively awesome.

And now I am off to do stuff I wasn’t doing while I was revising.

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Progress Report – Not Proper Enough and More

March 1st, 2012

I have the edits for Not Proper Enough so I have my head down working on them. They’re actually very light, but this is my best chance to make sure I said what I meant and to make sure there’s emotional punch. This means I’m behind on Dauntless, my story for the Midnight Scandals anthology, but I’m sort of OK with that because I’d reached what I believe is critical mass with that story in that all the elements were gelling and I can now dig in and do yeoman’s work on story.

I also discovered that I have the UK rights to Not Wicked Enough and Not Proper Enough and that means I am currently commissioning new covers for both those books so I can release them in the UK. Not Wicked Enough will be out as soon as I’m ready. Not Proper Enough will, of course, will be a later release.

I’m getting antsy about starting Harsh Marit’s story for the next My Immortals book.

Back to work!

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This Makes Me Feel Cheated and Sad: Semi-Rant

February 23rd, 2012

I recently blogged about Heat, a self-pubbed book that worked for me. (It won’t work for everyone, by the way.) In fact, that book worked so well for me that I went out and bought several other books by the author: R.L.Smith/R.Lee Smith (more on that later). As noted in that post, one of the books was a DNF for me.

One of the others, Care and Feeding of a Griffin, was a major win. Major. The book is wonderful and flirted with brilliance. I’ve now just about finished the 4th and last in the series and I feel sad and cheated. Book 2 was … rough, and that’s being kind. Then the beginning of Book 3? For a while, it was just as wonderful as Book 1 and I was so happy; giddy even. Then it crashed and burned. Book 4? Not good.

Dear Author reviewed a different book by this author and I’m going to try that one, because it worked for that reviewer and since Heat worked for her, too, I suspect this other one will work for me.

Why I Feel Sad and Cheated

Heat and Care and Feeding prove this author can write. She can take risks and make them work. She can write characters that just pop off the page. When she’s on her game, her use of detail is sublime. But, it seems, she can’t do it consistently. And, having now read a fair amount of her work (assuming gender here) I can see what themes she likes and what writing issues are a problem for her.

I am sad because when a talented writer works with the right editor, the result is a far, far better book. The right editor challenges a writer to confront weaknesses and to turn good into great, and great into brilliant.

I am sad because I wanted to live in the world of Care and Feeding for more books. I feel cheated of what ought to have been and I am especially sad (and cheated) that Book 3 started out so brilliantly and then crashed and burned. I mourn for all those lovely, exquisite details that were wasted or never brought out.

Lords Of Arcadia Series

I highly recommend Care and Feeding. Read it. It will be worth it even with the abrupt ending. But I can’t in good conscience recommend the other three.

The main character continues to be a Mary Sue. In fact, parts of Book 3 offended me. The white human visits new and hostile species and each and every time, she is so relentlessly perfect that Low! The new and hostile species stops raping human women or the women of their own species or whatever wrong thing they’re doing. All because, practically literally, the heroine has a magic hoo-haw. If a creature has sex with her, that creature is transformed from ignorant brute to noble beast.

No matter how monumentally stupid the heroine’s decisions, she prevails and it’s magically the right thing to have done after all — because she’ll have cured the creatures of whatever was wrong with them before she got on the scene. She can do no wrong. I started to hate her. I could predict what would happen and how it would happen.

Plot threads start and then vanish. There are continuity errors. (The griffin is there for the wedding and then never mentioned again. Many many pages later, there’s a mention of the griffin NOT being at the wedding.) She’s preggers for nearly two years, then it’s only been nine months and she’s ready to pop, then later yet someone says, oh, you’re 10 months along, and you have 5 to go. Then later she’s 15 months with three more to go. It’s confusing as hell. As with her other books, time and events pass with unbelievable slowness. In these books it’s like 1 manuscript day = 7-10 days in a book that follows a normal events-to-day ratio. I’d be absolutely convinced several days had to have passed only to discover that, no, it’s only been one day. WTF?

Some Other Thoughts

In hindsight, there are clues to my eventual disappointment with the series. All the covers are awful. The formatting is often sub-par. There are typos and other errors that would be caught by a copy-editor and a proofreader. The author is inconsistent about her own name. Is she R. L. Smith, R. Lee Smith or Robin Smith? The names matter because it makes her hard to find on Amazon. A little research on my part left me with the strong suspicion that Smith has or does write under at least two other names. Obviously, Smith is prolific and has been writing for a long time. At some point, I’ll check out those other writings because when she’s good, she’s really, really good.

All these things combined point to someone who lacks the necessary attention to detail for an author who wants to self-publish and not outsource. The alternative is she’s outsourcing and doesn’t understand she’s being cheated. The consistently good writers know why they need to pay for a good cover and they can tell the difference between a flat out bad cover and one that is even minimally acceptable. And they care about it. They know why editing, copy-editing and proofreading matter. Given the accumulation of all these issues, ultimately, I’m not surprised by the lack of attention to detail in the writing of Books 2-4. But it makes me sad.

I’ve been cheated. We’ve all been cheated out of what should have been an amazing, sexy and wonderful series as good or better than anything being traditionally published.

R.L. Smith, please, please hire an editor and then give us your best, because your best is wonderful.

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Not Wicked Enough Giveaway

February 20th, 2012

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Not Wicked Enough by Carolyn Jewel

Not Wicked Enough

by Carolyn Jewel

Giveaway ends March 20, 2012.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

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Let’s Chat!

February 19th, 2012

Today, (February 19, 2012) I’ll be chatting about writing at the Writer’s Chatroom 4:00pm-7:00pm Pacific (7:00pm-9:00pm Eastern)

http://writerschatroom.com/Enter.htm

There’s no password. I’ll be giving away a couple of books. Stop by if you can and bring your questions and funny jokes.

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Book Review: Heat

February 18th, 2012

A few days ago I blogged about a self-published book that was just awful. I believe it was free, but might have been $0.99 and in either case I felt ripped off. Other than the cover, which was good, that book was everything scoffers complain about with self-pubbed books.

Today, I bring you a review of a self-published book I really liked, though, as you’ll see, this book isn’t for everyone. Dear Author has a review you might find interesting. If you don’t like spoilers, read that review, because I do tend to be spoilerish.

Heat by R. Lee Smith/R. L. Smith

I’ll start off with the bad because it won’t take too long.

1. The cover: My God, the cover is awful. It’s amateurish and embarrassing. Really, Smith should be ashamed of that cover.

2. The formatting: Rife with errors. If Smith is paying someone to produce her eBooks, she’s being robbed. If she’s not, she needs to pay someone because whatever s/he’s doing, s/he’s not good at it. Fortunately, the errors, while irritating and embarrassing for the author, didn’t keep me from reading. Just for some context, the eBook of my Berkley historical Indiscreet IS unreadable, so at least Smith is doing better than Berkley was in 2009. And at least Smith can send someone the file, get it fixed, and reuploaded quickly. PLEASE because I will be rereading major parts of this book.

3. Editing and copy-editing: The book needs copy-editing. It’s pretty clean, but there were errors. Smith is a VERY strong writer, but I think a skilled editor could take this from really damn good to amazing, mostly with some tightening up. There are some repetitive passages. Further, this is a LONG book and there are places where things could be tightened up. However, this book is on a par with anything coming out of NY, only way riskier.

4. There are some pacing problems. See 3 above. A good editor would surely hone in on those issues. The issue with Raven’s period goes on too long as does Daria’s refusal to accept what’s happening to Tagen. Those scenes got repetitive because the issue was already established and nothing new was added in the subsequent scenes.

Content Warning

This story has some extremely strong sexual content and there are going to be people who can’t/don’t want to read books like this. There are scenes, many, many scenes of rape. The rapist is an alien and in the first quarter or more of the book, to him, humans are “its” — an inferior species. He has to check gentalia to figure out whether a given human is male or female. If you are a reader who cannot handle a rapist hero, then do not read this book. It won’t work for you. I wasn’t entirely sure it would work for me. But it did.

The Story

There are two heroes and heroines in this book.

The first hero is the rapist hero, Kane. He’s a completely twisted unrepentant alien fuck. In his own planetary system, he’s a slaver, drug lord and space pirate. His heroine is a young human woman named Raven. I’ll say more about her later.

The second hero is Tagen, an alien police officer/soldier sent to Earth to find and arrest Kane. His heroine is Daria, a human woman who is, at the start, a house-bound nuerotic. With a cat. More on her and the cat later.

These aliens come from a world where females are both rare and socially and politically dominant. Males are subject to Heat, which is a condition that causes the uncontrollable need to mate. If unsatisfied, it’s incredibly painful. So, males in Heat need to fuck and fuck long and hard. Heat is triggered by temperature. On the home planet, it’s only hot enough to trigger Heat for maybe 10 days of their solar cycle.

These two alien men are on earth in the US in summer. The beginning of summer. And it’s fucking hot. They’re in Heat from the get go. Kane intends to harvest (kill) humans for dopamine, go home with his new slave Raven and make a bloody fortune. Tragen intends to stop Kane.

What worked and what didn’t work for me

The writing is strong. Better yet, the story and characters are coherent. (Oh, thank you!!!!) Whatever you may think of the story and the characters in it, this is a well crafted book. It’s possible to actually critique this book because this is not an author with fiction-writing deficits. Rather ironically, that means it’s possible to make this book sound like it’s not as good as it is.

Within the world Smith has built things make sense and are internally consistent. I have a deep love of stories that explore power imbalances and Kane and Raven’s story is all about power imbalances. Basically, theirs is a BDSM relationship but without the safety of a typical BDSM book. He’s the dom and she’s the sub, and if you don’t like stories that explore that, this won’t work for you. Because, as you must see from the set up, there’s no saftey net for Raven. Kane first takes her along with him because he’s in Heat and needs a woman to fuck. Before long, he’s decided to keep her as his slave.

Raven’s attempt to protect herself mentally makes enough sense, but I did have trouble with her quick acceptance of Kane as more than an abductor. She completely accepts his dominance over her and what’s more, she accepts her enslavement to him. Kane moves from seeing Raven as a receptacle for his cock to a sentient being who is clever, capable and really, really good at the kind of sex he likes. Eventually he sees her as a “person”, though never ever, ever outside her submissiveness or enslavement to him.

Tagen, the alien cop, is the White Knight. His relationship with Daria is, at times, almost treacly sweet, but the romance was really well done, I thought. Oddly enough, even though Daria is not submissive or enslaved, more than once I found her to be more of an emotional doormat than Raven, who was enslaved, abused and stripped of almost all agency except for what flowed back to her via Kane. Daria’s self-blame annoyed me just about every time it came up. Tagen has Heat, too, but he has several days of medications that suppress the effects. Then the medicine runs out. Uh oh. Daria comes up with a rather clever solution for his Heat, but eventually, that’s just not enough. When Tagen and Daria hit the road on Kane’s trail, they take the cat with them. Which was AWESOME. Tagen loves the cat, by the way.

For a time, there’s a third person in the Kane, Raven mix and I had less love for the author’s decisions here than just about anywhere else. It doesn’t really go anywhere or add much of psychological interest to the Kane/Raven relationship.

The two couples run parallel stories that are plainly going to collide in major ways and how, how!? are both couples going to remain alive at the end? I’d say it’s not quite as surprising as others have suggested, but is IS very very well done and completely satisfying.

Some other Thoughts

I immediately bought other books by this author. I started with Olivia, but I believe this will be DNF for me. Olivia is an abduction story along the lines of Mars Needs Earth Women, only the Martians are creatures that live inside a remote mountain. The Creatures are, to me, too obviously based on Native American elements and spirituality. The heroine is passive and accepting to the point where there was no tension. I started skipping huge sections. There was creature human sex and I ended up not caring. Your Mileage May Vary.

I also bought The Care and Feeding of a Griffin. This book was a major win for me. It’s Book 1 in the Lords of Arcadia series and at the end, I immediately bought the rest. The series is basically erotica meets Narnia, only Book 1 doesn’t have any sex, or so little as to not matter. But Book 1 is really well done, in my opinion. Book 2 of the series was less of a success. (Book 1 set a REALLY high bar.) The books follow the same heroine, and there’s a fair amount of sex, but the heroine, for me, falls into Mary Sue territory. She can do no wrong and, as with Olivia, she becomes maddeningly passive. Things happen to her. She makes some really ridiculous TSTL decisions from which she must be rescued by creatures. Further, her coterie of creature heroes decide not to tell her about a HUGE danger to her so, duh, she cannot take steps to protect herself nor understand why the others behave as they do.

My take on this is that it’s an authorial decision, deliberate or otherwise. Her other heroines are also marked by what is, ultimately, a disturbing lack of personal agency. And yet, the world is compelling and well, if you’ve ever wanted Narnia with sex, this is the series for you.

I want Smith to hook up with an editor because a really good editor is going to push her writing to amazing places. Heat, in particular, strikes me as precisely the sort of book NY ought to be publishing but isn’t. Likewise with the Lord of Arcadia series.

Have you read anything of Smith’s? If so, what did you think?

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Winners of the Free eBooks of Not Wicked Enough

February 17th, 2012

Thank you to everyone who entered! Woot!

Here’s the 20 winners.

If you don’t already have an eamil from me, please email me at carolyn AT carolynjewel DOT com with the following information

1. Your preferred vendor
2. The email address you use at that vendor so I can gift you a copy.

EXAMPLE: if you have a Kindle, email me saying you have a Kindle and your email address is [whatever email address you use that will let me gift to book to you]

Pamela @SpazP
Kim
Jami Gold
willaful
Na
Sue CCCP
Melissa
Sharla Long
Alycia
georgia lampel
Timothea
Thalia
Paula
Mary D
Lynn
Amanda
Beebs
librarypat
Jane
ClaudiaGC

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Free ebook of not wicked enough

February 14th, 2012

I am giving away (gifting) 20 eBooks of Not Wicked Enough.

How to get one: leave a comment Per the rules below and agree to leave an HONEST review at your eBook vendor.

Rules: No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Must be 18 or older. I can only gift at US vendors who allow gifting of eBooks and who are selling Not Wicked Enough. (Updated add: the main vendors, Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble and Kobo all allow the purchase of an eBook as a gift. I, personally, do not know what other vendors do, but if your choice allows gifting of eBooks, you’ll be fine!)

Leave your comment by midnight pacific February 16, 2012

Go.

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Interesting Fact About Not Wicked Enough

February 10th, 2012

Unless someone tells me it’s safe, I don’t read reviews of my current releases. It does no good to my writer’s psyche.

I have heard (without reading any reviews or comments to same) however, that some people are disappointed that Not Wicked Enough is not an angsty book like the previous two.

Well, in a way, me, too, though I’m pretty pleased with NWE. Angst is my natural style, I think. But if I had not proposed going with a “lighter” historical than Scandal and Indiscreet, I would not have had a contract to write any more historicals. That’s just a fact that is directly tied to sales.

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Book Review: The Copper Sign

February 9th, 2012

The Copper Sign, by Katia Fox

I can’t recall if this book was free or 0.99, but in either case, it’s a rip off. I like the cover of the book and that’s it.

The story is set in 12th century England and Normandy and follows the adventures of Ellen who is a blacksmith. Yes. Not just a blacksmith, but the most talented and awesome swordsmith ever to set foot anywhere ever in the world. She spends a few years disguised as a boy.

For a while, I was uncertain about how much a bad translation was affecting my reading of this book. (This novel was originally written in German.) As noted, the story is set in the 1100′s so I was utterly thrown by 20th century English idioms like this: “She’s pretty cute. Are you getting it on with her?”

The book is full of problems like this. I didn’t expect the story to be written in Middle English for heaven’s sake, but there was no attempt to give even the slightest flavor of historically appropriate language and patterns of thought. That, I decided, must be the fault of the translator, because, surely, the author didn’t plunk 21st century characters into the backdrop of the 12th century and go on her merry way with the tale.

I think I am wrong about that. When the book opens the protagonist (Ellen) is quite young. For that reason, and for quite a bit, I was not bothered by the unsophisticated world view of the narrative. Unfortunately, as Ellen grows up, there is no change in the character’s perceptions of anything. She’s mentally 8 years old her whole fucking life.

Sadly, in the English language version, this story is completely ridiculous. The author writes with no sophistication whatsoever. The story is historically, socially, legally and culturally inaccurate and there is zero nuance in any respect. Ellen is a classic “Mary Sue” character who overcomes obstacles and perils as if by magic, gathering friends everywhere. The villain is cardboard and might as well be twirling a mustache. In case you’re wondering, yes, he’s sexually perverted because 1) he’s a rapist and 2) when told Ellen is his half-sister, he doesn’t care. He still lusts after that magic hoo-haw.

The hero, of course, is a noble Gary Sue. blah blah blah.

This author desperately needs an editor and about 20 more drafts. And what a shame, because the story is ambitious. In the hands of a writer who has labored at her craft, as this author has not, the story would be wonderful. But isn’t. It’s awful.

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