Posts Tagged ‘reviews’

Barnes & Noble reviews are Being “Gamed”

Friday, September 7th, 2012

Someone on an email list posted a set of bizarre “reviews” for her book on B&N. I won’t link there because I don’t want to out her. Also I don’t need to in order to show you that B&N has an issue they need to investigate and clean up.

Check out this Google Search, This Google image search on the “Lienstar”. You see several book covers. I moused over a couple of rows of them, and they were ALL from Barnes & Noble.

Click on an image, and go to the website. You’ll end up at a book page like this one: This Random Book. Now scroll down through the reviews.

Here’s a screencap of a portion:

Obviously Not Reviews

OK, so “Doomkit” is kind of odd. Google that and you end up at this DeviantArt site for Doomkit.

Read the comments (screencap)
A cat themed role-playing game?

And here Warriorstakeall.deviantart.com Getting the picture?

Check out the last comment. Now Google “Lightening Clan.” After finding “Sea Breeze of the Lighting Clan” (also a cat) on DeviantArt I googled that phrase and ended up here: outbackclans.proboards.com

And, at last, Google “Warrior Cats roleplaying” and you end up at Warriorcatsrpg.com

Take all this together and you get a role playing game centered around warrior cats with players who are, rather not very nicely, abusing the B&N website by conducting their games via “reviews”

I’m sure it’s fun for them, but to be honest, authors and B&N are collateral damage. These don’t even rise to the level of “fake” reviews. They’re garbage reviews.

B&N, you’ve been gamed. Clean it up.

Addition

I want to add a couple of things to this post. The first is that I understand that the RPG is mostly played by kids and young adults. And I bet it’s fun. But the process of using a third party’s website as an extension of the game does impact authors as well as B&N. Some of those books have over a hundred reviews, but only the first few are legitimate. ALL of the rest are these RPG comments. Not all the comments are 5 stars. A fair number are 1 star. This means that book is unfairly up-ranked or down-ranked in the overall star rating. Suppose a potential buyer only sees the first few legitimate reviews and, further, sees 100+ reviews. I noted, by the way, that they appear to be choosing books that have at least one lengthy review — so that the garbage entries are hidden (as it were) below the fold. The reader will have a false sense of how popular the book is. And so would B&N.

Here’s another issue: What does this say about B&N network security that it is unable to see what has to be an unlikely set of circumstances: A book with a low sales ranking suddenly sees dozens and dozens of “reviews” in a short period of time WITHOUT an accompanying or preexisting rise in purchases. That, all by itself, ought to trigger a warning that the servers are seeing network activity that is highly suggestive of a hack.

Yet another issue: What does this say about B&N’s investment in their reputation?

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Handy Review Responses for Authors Looking to Behave Badly

Saturday, August 25th, 2012

I believe in paying it forward and helping my fellow authors in anyway I can. Lately, there have been a spate of Author DefendersTM weighing in on bad reviews. Some of them have been brilliantly effective, generating loads of ill-will among readers and all those lookie-loos who refuse to buy your book so you can hit #1 on that certain list. But some of those defenses just aren’t up to par, I’m afraid. Not to mention there are authors without husbands or significant others to help with that all important Author Defense WorkTM.

Well, Carolyn to the Rescue! Herewith are some canned Author DefenseTM review responses for you to copy and paste into any comment stream. All you need to do is customize for your specific situation. I ask nothing in return, but if you felt moved to leave me a 5 star review for any of my books along the lines of “My GOD THIS IS BRILLIANT” I wouldn’t complain.

So, suppose you were to get a review like the one below:

A composite review

Wow. I can’t believe I paid for this book. Nothing about the story or the characters worked for me. The hero cursed way too much. There was too much sex! (See page 275! Utter filth.) The hero was mean. Why didn’t he help the heroine? The heroine, by the way, was a complete doormat who didn’t kick a single ass. I prefer books with kick-ass heroines. The formatting was terrible and so was the prose. I’m sorry I wasted hours of my life reading this. The history was all wrong. Everyone knows there were no buggy whips in 1805 and besides, who would use one of those in that way?

The author’s dog responds

It’s obvious you didn’t read [Insert author's name] book or you’d know how nice she is. What are you? Some kind of cat lover? She is a wonderful person who always gives me treats and takes me outside to do my business. ::BALL!:: If you weren’t a pet hating sociopath you would know how wonderful ::TREAT!!!!!!:: pant pant pant please give me a treat. The heroine is not a doormat. But if you were, and I think you must be, I would do my business on you.

The author’s cat responds

Who are you? If you’re not going pet me, go away. Here is what I think of your review: :::Yawn::: Also ::GAK GAK GAK:: Here’s a hairball. It’s smarter than you are.

The author’s mother responds

My [daughter/son/transgender] is a polite young [woman/man/transgender], and [she/he] was always a special child and very polite and [beautiful/handsome], too. [She/he] has the nicest smile! [She/he] is polite now, too, and I just don’t understand how you could be so cruel as to make those remarks when [she/he] worked so hard at that writing. You should be nice to people. I am so sorry for your parents. They must be distraught.

The pond turtle responds

The sun is very warm here on this rock, which is smarter than you are.

You’re welcome! And please, if you have a good one, please leave your contribution in the comments!

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A Modest Proposal

Thursday, July 12th, 2012

It has come to my attention recently that certain book reviewers at the Goodreads site are writing reviews that are motivated purely by malice against authors. These reviews contain harsh and offensive language designed to deter people from reading truly excellent books. I don’t think any sane person could possibly disagree with how wrong that is. However, the real issue, and the one we need to solve, is the harm these reviews do to authors.

I think we all know it’s not just the Goodreads site. Amazon.com, B&N, Kobo, the New York Times Review of Books, as well as internet review sites such as Dear Author and Smart Bitches all post reviews that are motivated by malice and ill-will against authors. They only pretend to care about readers when what they really care about is monitizing their websites. There’s a reason these sites are called “The Mean Girl Sites.” Worse, they do NO monitoring whatsoever of the comments. Anyone can comment without revealing their true identities. Jane at Dear Author actually pointed out that a commenter could use a FAKE email address. This just encourages the hate.

What do these sites think will happen when these out-of-control, mean, bullying reviewers and commenters have destroyed the careers of authors? Where do they think they’re going to get their next free book, I’d like to know. How many authors have already had their books tank because of a malicious, mean, snarky review? Do you really think someone like Mrs. Giggles should be allowed to mock literature and the authors who write it? It’s outrageous.

I think we can all agree that something needs to be done.

Therefore, I propose the creation of The Book Review Security Department, to be annexed to the Department of Defense and funded by the elimination of all Federal, State and Local funding of public libraries. Navy SEAL Team 6 will be relocated to New York City, with the West Coast operation based in Seattle, in a new command unit called Special Review Operations (SPECREVOPS), the team to be deployed whenever the BRSD determines a reviewer has written a malicious review. The BRSD itself will be headed by the US Poet Laureate, unless the current Nobel Prize winner for Literature is an American.

The BRSD will be tasked with carrying out the reading and approving all book reviews prior to their publication anywhere in the world. Since this will require hiring hundreds of thousands of Review Scrutinzers (REVSCRU) the unemployment rate will plummet to levels unheard of since 2006. Any review containing prohibited words, sentiments, or opinions likely to throw an author into the depths of despair, or otherwise deemed malicious or disparaging of the content reviewed will be subject to immediate, covert action by the elite SPECREVOPS.

Further, I propose the formation of a secret Black Ops Review Team, no acronym to be assigned. The Black Ops Review Team will assassinate all reviewers placed on the BRSD’s No-Review List by the current sitting head of the BRSD.

Best Regards,

Carolyn Jewel

Do not ask for whom the author’s tear is shed. It sheds for thee.

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Interesting Fact About Not Wicked Enough

Friday, February 10th, 2012

Unless someone tells me it’s safe, I don’t read reviews of my current releases. It does no good to my writer’s psyche.

I have heard (without reading any reviews or comments to same) however, that some people are disappointed that Not Wicked Enough is not an angsty book like the previous two.

Well, in a way, me, too, though I’m pretty pleased with NWE. Angst is my natural style, I think. But if I had not proposed going with a “lighter” historical than Scandal and Indiscreet, I would not have had a contract to write any more historicals. That’s just a fact that is directly tied to sales.

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Carolyn’s Tips For Reviewers

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

Lately, there’s been a lot of tweeting and other discussion over a blog post by an author in which she gives helpful tips about how to review books AND remain besties with the author.

I thought I should weigh in with my own tips, so here they are:

  1. You should give your honest opinion of the book.

You’re welcome.

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My Dangerous Pleasure – Two Lovely Reviews!

Saturday, August 13th, 2011

From Fresh Fiction: A Cunningly Crafted Urban Fantasy Series With Plenty of Plot Twists

I enjoyed Jewel’s ability to create complex and unusual characters. Even the bad guy has a few redeeming qualities, and you are never quite sure even those who fight on the ‘positive’ side are purely good. MY DANGEROUS PLEASURE is Book Four in Carolyn Jewel’s My Immortals series and a solid continuation from the previous entries. Further developments in plot lines started in earlier books reward faithful readers without confusing the issue for first timers. The plot in book four is cleverly constructed, with a surprise ending. The romance that forms between Iskander and Paisley is handled well, with the intense love scenes not rushed but in perfect pace with the rest of the book.

Diana Troldahl Fresh Fiction

Nightowl Reviews – Top Pick 4.75 Stars

This is the fourth installment in Ms. Jewel’s My Immortal series. This is a story about two people who have been hurt by love before. Ms. Jewel brings these amazing characters to life. She is able to blend the two different worlds together with ease. There is enough action and romance to balance the story out. The characters are interesting, even the villains. Ms. Jewel’s My Immortal series should be on everyone’s reading list. She is an auto buy for me.

Robin, Nightowl Reviews

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Heroes and Heartbreakers Reviews My Dangerous Pleasure

Saturday, May 21st, 2011

What stands out most after reading My Dangerous Pleasure, fourth in Carolyn Jewel’s Immortal series, is this: The hero, while totally the alpha male you’d expect a demon to be, is also incredibly sweet to the heroine, a human with latent magic being threatened by a mage.

The typical urban fantasy/urban fantasy romance hero is usually pretty slutty, with a bad-ass attitude to match. He’s generally pulled into helping/saving/working with the heroine, often begrudgingly, and…yada, yada, you know the drill. Iskander, Jewel’s hero, fulfills the slutty part of the equation, but even though he never planned any sort of involvement with Paisley Nichols, he brings no pissed off, sullen, or I’m-the-boss-of-you attitude into their relationship.

His behavior is adorably, utterly, cluelessly male …

Laurie Gold, Heroes and Heartbreakers

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Review of My Dangerous Pleasure

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

Jeanna, the winner of one of the ARCs of My Dangerous Pleasure, has written this review, as I said I would do for anyone who didn’t have an official place to post.


What an unbelievably excellent book!! Carolyn Jewel has outdone herself once again with her newest book “My Dangerous Pleasure”. The fourth installment in this series has an incredible mix of magic, sensuality and the power to suck you right into their world. I love ‘watching’ the almost Too Hot To Handle, fiends, witches and mages come alive through her imagination!
In the fight of good vs evil, this time around she manages to twine together a story of two souls who really connect with each other on a level that most people never reach and it let’s them pull together and kick some ass to save the ones they thought lost to their kind forever. It’s a thoroughly slow and enjoyable ride…. with a whole lot of lust, action and passion thrown together that should make it #1 on your list of what to read next. :)

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An Experimental Offer

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

So, I have this idea.

My Experimental Offer To You

1. I wrote this really short (2000 words) but pretty erotic historical story. It’s so short I feel bad about charging $0.99 for it and haven’t put it up anywhere for people to read except this one Erotica blog where I was invited to write something, well, erotic and did.

2. I have this other somewhat longer but possibly filthy paranormal story.

3. Both of these stories technically involve demons.

4. The second story is massively open-ended and one of these days I will write what I think is a pretty filthy conclusion so it’s tied up all neat and sexy.

5. I have a very pretty cover for the first story.

6. If you are 18 or older, and if you post a review for one or more of my ebooks (Lord Ruin, The Spare, Future Tense) at Amazon and/or B&N, I will send you the eBook file for those two stories with the pretty cover. Just write your review (your HONEST opinion, please) and send me a link when it posts along with your email so I can send you the file. I can pull off the major formats without too much headache I think.

What do you think?

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Great Reviews of My Immortal Assassin and Hell Freezes Over

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

Some people are saying Nice Things About Me

No, that’s not the indication that hell has frozen over! People say nice things about me all the time. Like, uh, that time. You know. Stay tuned, cold hell is coming . . .


Over at Book Reading Gals, they’re doing a giveaway, and have this to say:

Carolyn Jewel is a master storyteller. The world that she has created is in this reviewers humble opinion one of the best in the paranormal and romance genre. The conflict between the fiends and the mages is a perfect combination. The hero and heroine are a perfect complement to each other.
. . .
If you like a great paranormal story with a great romance and excellent characters than I recommend picking up this series.
. . .
Grade A

Read the Whole Review

More Nice Things

Over at Renee’s Book Addiction there’s this:

One of the things I really enjoy about this series is the originality of the world. The demons (known as the kin, among themselves) are engaged in a struggle with the magekind. Dark mages use enslaved demons to provide power and as coerced minions. Witches, too, often get caught in the crossfire, becoming pawns for the dark mages.

One of the things that made My Immortal Assassin a stand out in the series for me is the relationship between Gray and Durian. More than any other book in the series, there is a give and take to their relationship that is really refreshing. While Grey has “submitted” (not in a D/s way, but in a magical way) by binding herself to him, rather than being subservient to him, she is pledged to protect him, and becomes his bodyguard. As Gray increasingly comes into her power, she assumes a more protective role toward Durian that male heroes more typically take on. I really liked this shift in traditional power dynamics.

Read the Full Review

Has Hell Frozen Over?

I think maybe it has, because my day job and my writing job have gotten married and produced (dun dun dun!!) a parody! Bear with me, because this actually gets interesting.

Over at the SQL Server Simple Talk newsletter, the mysterious Phil Factor (that’s SQL humor, by the way) has written Parodist, a SQL Server “application” that will create a parody of text you provide. Note: This ONLY works if you happen to have SQL Server installed, so unless it’s installed on your web server or for some reason you have access to SQL Server, it won’t do much good to check the link. Unless you want to satisfy idle curiosity or look at T-SQL code. The application consists of two procedures, one to accept the text and stick it in a database and another to spit out the parody, which SQL builds like this, in the words of Phil Factor, describing what you would have to do if you did this by hand:

You have the starting word of a sentence: Then, you would find the second word in another sentence that started with that initial word. Once you had the third word, by proceeding likewise, you would be ready to start. You find, at random, a sentence containing the previous two words, adjacent and in the same order; and you take this third word and append it. As authors tend to have mannerisms, and use favourite phrases, this technique seems to pick them up: One gets clichés strung together. The more text you have the better the parody. with small amounts, it just sticks to the sentences it selects, but the richer the text bank, the more creative it gets.

So, you can see that SQL Server is doing some pretty interesting text manipulation. What does this have to do with My Immortal Assassin? Well, I fed Parodist Chapter 1 and got this:

Not any of it. Obtain a sanction on me. There was the rest of her head. She had impressive control. Just as he watched. Her eyes lost focus again and she let out a puff of air. They were not at liberty to disclose that information. That ought to be in her late twenties maybe early thirties. She wasn’t stupid. Her magic flared up– the magic inside. If you answer my questions. Her expression hardened to ice. I’m not saying I didn’t kill anyone. A wild bitterness edged the sound. Most mages of sufficient ambition considered it worth the risk and there were indeed significant dangers. She pushed herself to a sitting position.

Personally, I think it’s hilarious. What do you think?

Also, please go buy My Immortal Assassin. You’ve read the parody, now read the real thing.

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