The North American Stealth Gopher

The North American Stealth Gopher is a rodent, a true pest and the bane of creative writers the world over. This pesky creature moves stealthily through time, geography and metaphysical reality. Razor sharp front teeth gnaw away at confidence while distorting the space time continuum so as to make the time required for non-writing matters take 27 times longer than conceivably probable such that the time available for writing approaches zero. The Stealth Gopher is a known cause of ridiculous blog posts. Often confused with the pocket Gopher by distraught gardeners in mourning for their tomato plants, the Stealth Gopher is commonly thought to have appeared in the movie Caddyshack. This is an urban legend. As you can see from the below exclusive photo, the Slealth Gopher, which is overly fond of disguises, looks nothing like the Caddyshack imposter.

North American Stealth Gopher

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