In Which Carolyn is Puzzled about Something

First some writing related news – I’ve seen a very early draft of my book trailer for My Forbidden Desire and it’s going to rock. Watch this space…

I will shortly, I believe, have some very happy news. Heh. Heh. Watch this space.

I have no contest ideas yet for the release of My Forbidden Desire and I guess I need to get cracking on that. Watch this space.

Monday is a holiday and I have Thursday and Friday off which means for me tomorrow is Friday! Yes, that is happy news, but not the news I was teasing you all with earlier.

Now, on to the thing which has been puzzling me lately, namely,

Vampire Reproduction

Everyone knows that vampires aren’t fertile, but why not? Seriously. They’re self-healing, so seems to me if a person were fertile before he became a vampire (for now let’s talk male vamps) then he’d be fertile afterward too. It’s not like the sperm would suddenly be non-motile — vampires can move after all, so there’s no reason to think vampire sperm wouldn’t also move. Would sperm production cease? Why or why not? According to lore, vampires can cry (blood) though I would ask why cry blood? There has to be water in the vampire’s body or they’d all look like Yoda after 10 years in the desert without a soda, so why not cry tears? But I digress.

Seems to me that vampire sperm would not only be motile but it would be preternaturally motile. Those little swimmers would be after that egg like nobody’s business. So why don’t women get knocked up by vampires and have lots of twins and triplets and more?

Why would the transformation to the vampire leave all bodily functions but fertility regenerative? If a vampire were to lose part of his liver, it would grow back. So long as the heart is not pierced by a stake, a damaged vampire heart would grow back good as new. The vampire body must constantly regenerate itself to its time-of-death state, so they should always start the night with a fresh supply of swimmers.

The whole circulation thing bothers me too. If vampires cry tears of blood, but there’s no circulation, how did the blood get there and then get pushed out of the body? There has to be some sort of circulation in place in order for the blood to be absorbed as a nutrient. There also has to be circulation and mitochondria and the like all working in order for the blood to get to all parts of the body to continually regenerate the undead state. I’m willing to accept that their blood pressure is so low as to be considered non-existent if they were humans.

Therefore, if there’s circulation, then the whole vas deferens must work and therefore male vampires have to be capable of knocking up a female. Ah, but what kind of female? I submit it can’t be a female vampire.

For female vampires, the case is more complicated. If her eggs are still good at the time of un-death, then they would still be good after, but lore says the vampire body returns to its time of un-death state during the day, so a vampire female shouldn’t be able to carry a baby to term. But a male vampire should be able to knock up a human female. BUT! That baby would have to be fully human, I think. Unless the transformation to vampire actually changes the DNA. Which I don’t think it would.

What do you guys think?


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5 Responses to “In Which Carolyn is Puzzled about Something”

  1. ranearia says:

    I agree with Carolyn, but if all comes to pass the child would be dead as the vampire mama’s blood would kill the baby.
    Then again, the oldfolk tale of vampires has been changed so much over the years, the only common ground now of days if they still drink blood

  2. Anonymous says:

    Consider J.R. Ward’s alternate Vampire world: vampires can knock up both Vamp and human women. Vampire women are pregnant for 18 months (slower gestation), and often die in childbirth. Human women carry their half-vamp baby for 9 months and give birth normally, so Doctors may not realize that the child is half-vamp until he or she is about 25 years old. Her vamps eat food and drink vodka as well as blood. I think you can probably come up with some variants of a philosophy that starts out with Fertility, slow pulse, and a state of suspended animation during the day that is not quite death.


  3. Cybercliper says:

    Carolyn, why, oh why, do you wish to destroy my fantasies 😀

    (((wiping eyes and nose w/hanky – loudly honks into hanky)))

    Please leave me in the shroud of dark fantasy. Let me continue to see my magical vampires as beautiful, blood drinking, super sexy beasts…I don’t want logic, nope, nor sciences, physics or biology – leave me my dream…and don’t even think about starting on my demons 😀

  4. Carolyn says:

    So many good points! Ranearia, yes, you rightly point out that the folklore of vampires is pretty much abandoned.

    Susan, point well taken. Ward is very upfront about saying that her vampires are the real thing and that human folklore is just wrong. A very neat way to keep the stuff that’s cool and discarding what’s not.

    Cybercliper — I’m so sorry! I was just thinking, that’s all. The fascinating point to me is the gender politics involved in the lore of vampires. Bram Stoker was a rather disturbed person with respect to his feelings about female sexuality, that’s abundantly clear in his non-vampire stories.

    As for demons, they were never human, so there’s no need to reconcile physiological changes.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I’ve never wondered in quite such detail about vampires procreation, perhaps because my question begins much earlier in the process: unless he’s just drunk blood, how does a male vampire sustain an erection? After all, it’s blood flow to the penis that creates the erection in the first place, so very recent ingestion of liquid sustenance must have occurred. And how does the blood flow in the first place? If a vampire is dead, his heart doesn’t beat. Must admit the cold, dead, unbeating heart is not a turn-on for me, but I know it doesn’t faze many (most?) readers.