Rant Alert On Account of I’m Crabby

Huh. I thought I lost this ranty, crabby post. But there it was in drafts, and now here it is for you to read. Note: I was feverish when I wrote this.

A couple of days before Thanksgiving, my son mentioned that he wasn’t feeling well. The day before Thanksgiving, he definitely wasn’t feeling well. Poor kid. I was extremely tired Wednesday which should have been a tip off. Then Thursday, I was even more tired. Yes, the bug hit me, too. So I’m not feeling too well. And that makes me crabby. Here’s some things that get me peeved.

1. Just because YOU don’t like modern technology doesn’t make the technology bad. When you write an email in which you admit you know nothing about a technology related subject and then proceed to defend your know-nothing position, you aren’t actually making a case against the technology. You’re proving that you are ignorant and there is no reason anyone should listen to your opinion.

2. If you are a writer, for crying out loud, don’t you think you might spend some time learning how to write? You know, with sentences that make sense and words that are used correctly and spelled correctly?

3. I am officially sick (besides literally) of male writers who build worlds in which the female characters are there to die, divorce, or for their protagonist to have sex with and then dump. Have I mentioned that before? Well, I mean it.

That’s just the stuff from today when I wasn’t falling asleep from feeling crappy and ill.

Random Stuff that Frosts me.

1. Meljean Brook is ALWAYS funnier than I am. And I am starting to hate that. Like this post about Thanksgiving pies. Well, you know what? Wednesday night, I made two pumpkin pies AND a coconut cream pie FROM SCRATCH. I even used fresh pumpkin that I baked myself. Do you know how long it takes to cook and puree a pumpkin? Do you know how hard it is to make a good pie crust — which I also made myself, by the way. I also made fresh ORGANIC whipped cream to which I added a touch of vanilla, I’ll have you know. Coconut cream pie requires a custard and the making of custard is fraught with pitfalls and difficulties and everything could have gone completely wrong. Only it didn’t. It also requires a meringue and eggs whites are notoriously prone to failure. But my meringue came out fantastic and the coconut I sprinkled on top toasted up just right. The coconut cream pie was really, really good.

There is nothing even remotely funny about making pies from scratch that come out delicious. And I read Meljean’s post and thought, wow, so easy, and I bet it came out good, too. And funny. My pies are not funny.


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6 Responses to “Rant Alert On Account of I’m Crabby”

  1. cjewel says:

    Wow. I should never write a blog post when I have a fever.

  2. Meljean says:

    Believe me, I’d a million times rather be eating your pie.

    ::sexxxxxy wink::

  3. cjewel says:

    God, even your wink is funnier than I am.


  4. angie says:

    my grandmother makes homemade coconut cream pie, too, and damn it to hell every time i ask her for the recipe (she needs to pass it along to someone–she’s 89) she evades me.

    she, too, makes a homemade custard, which i have heard you either get or don’t get it. it’s either good or inedible. and my grandma’s is always better-than-sex-fricking fantastic, btw…
    BUT one trick my mom said she figured out on the meringue–because mome visited unannounced one day and caught grandma in the act–marshmallows in the meringue makes it failproof, besides extra delicious!

    also grandma admitted to me that merico pie crust, if you’re in a pinch and can’t make homemade is as close to the real deal she’s ever found because they use real lard in it. she said you have to use lard in pie crust.
    so there are some secrets grams will fess up to.
    now, just fork over the ENTIRE recipe, grams!

    or maybe carolyn has a good recipe she’ll share?

  5. cjewel says:

    Angie, perhaps your grandmother will share her pie recipe with me. Ask her. Tell her I am considered a vault. If she needs secrecy references let me know and I’ll provide them.

    I’ve never heard of marshmallows in the meringue. I assume they’re chopped fine.

    I make my pie crusts with butter, but I think they do come out better with lard. Will probably do that for the next one.

  6. angie says:

    per my mom she melts some mashmallows and then folds the rest of the typical meringue ingredients in with them when the marshmallow has cooled, so it also sets up and never falls.
    i’ll see if i can catch grandma in a weak moment and maybe she’ll share the entire recipe. if she does, i’ll share it with you!