Tonight, I wrote my ending chapter. It needs a little work, but it’s there where yesterday there was nothing. I also made back the word count I lost from cutting the two sucky chapters yesterday. Yay for me. I have one or two more chapters that I know need some work. I hope to get that done tomorrow. And then I’ll have a crappy draft. But, as every writer knows, crap can be fixed.
In other news, my brother was supposed to come over to give my son a man-to-man talk that would reinforce The Talk that I’ve had with him about S. E. X. I consider this especially important now that girls have discovered him. So, pretend for a minute, that this girl who is interested in my son and who my son is (supposedly) just friends with has a name that sounds like the capital of a country. This is true. Pretend that it’s Paris. Her name isn’t Paris, but pretend. My brother’s conversation with my son went like this:
Uncle: Hey, I hear you really like France.
Son: Yeeahhh. Why?
Uncle: I hear one city in particular is your favorite.
Son: What?
Uncle: Yeah, it’s the capital of France. Paris.
Son: (whispering to self) I gotta talk to my mom.
I am not kidding. I was in the kitchen at the time, and I overhead it and while I may not have the exact words, this is pretty darn close. I did not ask my brother to talk to my son about geography. We have an enormous map of the world on the wall in the hallway. My son and I often stand in front of that map and talk about geography. He’s actually very good at geography.
The conversation should have gone like this:
Uncle: Never have sex. But if you do, use a condom. You know what a condom is, right?
Son: Yeeahhh. Why?
Uncle: Do you know how to use one?
Son: Umm.
Uncle: [Manly talk that women never hear, but that conveys respect for women and mastery over the use of birth control.]
Son: Thank you. But I’m going to listen to my mom and never have sex.
Geography. Oh, for crying out loud.
