One Girl. Three Guys. Too Much Plaid

This is Rampal’s second movie, but the one that actually showed first, so this one also introduces Arjun Rampal.

How to summarize the plot. Well. It’s so crazy ass it almost works. Isha (Kirta Reddy) wins a scholarship to study cardiology in Glasgow. The sponsor of the scholarship, Yash (Sunil Shetty) falls for her the instant he sees her. Later, she meets this other guy, Taj (Aftab Shivdasani) who doesn’t seem to love her but I guess really does. There’s also Gaurav (Arjun Rampal) who also falls in love with her.

Yash is dirty stinking rich, and Taj is the son of a man who is stinking rich. Gaurav is poor.

The movie is about who she ends up with, with a very strong theme of why girls should pick their own damn husbands.

And The Object of Doom is . . . .

The Object of Doom (OOD) is the cursed item in a Rampal movie that when you see it you go WTF?? Wardrobe gives the OOD to Rampal because he’s the only man alive who could survive the curse. In other movies it’s been a hat, a white belt and a blue suit.

At first I thought the OOD was the shirt Rampal is wearing for his first dance scene because, wow, it’s just not a great shirt. But he has such a charming smile, I wasn’t sure. If the shirt, which I think was a Hawaiian shirt, had only been a little uglier Rampal would have been utterly adorable. Instead, he’s just insanely cute. That’s the secret power of Hawaiian shirts, as every American knows. However, it turns out that in this film, the OOD is plaid and it was NOT given to Rampal. The result is tragic. Someone in wardrobe effed up badly.

Let me try to explain. Taj and his family live in Scotland. His father is is Lord Bharadwaj and they live in a castle. I was down with that. I figured he was a life Peer, or just newly ennobled. For my historical fans, Lord Bharadwaj is variously addressed (in English, so it’s not a subtitle translation problem) as: Lord. Lordship. The Lord, and other inaccurate stuff but, interestingly, never Laird. Because he’s a Scottish lord, Lord B wears plaid. A different pattern of plaid every day. (Scottish plaids, as you know, are clan specific.) He wears, plaid jackets, entire plaid suits, scarves and plaid pants. OMG.

I have NEVER seen such a horrific abuse of plaid in my life. And, when we first meet Lord B, he’s wearing red plaid and shooting skeet and right there on the lawn is a white guy with long blond hair (possibly an actual Scot) in the old style plaid where ALL you’re wearing is the plaid cloth wound around the torso etc, only his is blue plaid. Also blue-plaid man is sitting on a white horse. Bareback (Not THAT bareback). Because, what Scottish Lord DOESN’T have a Scottish guy on a white horse on his front lawn?

Also, at one point, just as an aside, I recognized the interior of the castle, because I have been there, and it was Stirling Castle. (The residence of the Dukes of Argyll) So, Lord B, who is a Scot (I presume) but who is also Indian, has apparently left the decor of his house intact from the previous owner, so all the portraits in the background of any interior castle shot (there are lots) are white men in powdered wigs and frock coats.
Some of the outside castle shots were NOT Stirling Castle. It was a castle-melange.

The Medical Student does no studenting

Anyway, you figure Isha is wicked smart, seeing as how she’s studying heart disease and angioplasty and won this scholarship. But she’s never actually in a hospital, only in classrooms with chalk pictures of a heart with the label “AORTA” next to it. So here she is at the University of Glasgow studying heart anatomy and then everyone goes to Switzerland to party.

The REAL Plot

Yosh (filthy stinking rich guy), having falling in love at first sight, calls Isha’s folks and arranges a marriage. Isha, however, has other ideas about marrying a stranger, because, what about HER life? She lets him down easy but Yosh does not take it well. He hires Rampal to do something or other, I was never really clear on what, that is to result in Isha agreeing to marry Yosh. The payout is 1.45 million pounds. Meanwhile, Isha is studying hearts, staying with Lord B, and Taj (Lord B’s son) is all, hey, we’re friends, that’s all!

Before this, Rampal is a model who never shows up for any of his bookings, to the despair of his agent (a woman) who is in love with him. Rampal quits modeling and goes to Scotland to make a cool million and almost-a-half. His agent follows, continuing to make bookings for which Rampal does not show up. So, of course, Taj steps in and is a HUGE success.

Let me share this, because, well, lookit:

So, anyway, Rampal puts his evil plan into play, and he and Isha fall in love in the Alps. Yosh gets wind of this and is plenty mad so he goes to Scotland to get revenge and smoke cigars. Only, Rampal’s evil plan plays out, and it works. Next thing you know, Isha and Yosh are an item. The plan actually IS evil and for a while I was not very much in charity with Rampal’s character. Rampal, who is not entirely happy with the outcome, takes his check to the bank where Taj just happens to be the boss, and the evil plan is uncovered.

Taj is suddenly madly in love with Isha and so Lord B calls her folks and arranges a marriage. I think Isha at this point has two prospective husbands. Then wild shit happens and Isha tells Lord B and her folks to please pick who she should marry because they know what’s best for her. They pick Taj. Then she sees Rampal give Yosh back his money. Lord B accuses Rampal of blackmailing Isha– which is actually the one evil thing he didn’t do –and then everyone agrees she should marry Rampal (because, yeah!) Arjun Rampal!

Yosh decides to marry an annoyingily perky friend of Isha’s and Taj decides to marry Rampal’s agent. The End.

Reasons to watch this movie

The relationships and the way they develop, fall apart and are re-made are really interesting. Rampal’s redemption is … I’m still working on that. But I think he redeemed himself. There’s also a Rampal-only song which is mostly him showing his (real life) modeling chops (see below) and that in itself is worth the whole movie.

There’s also a shower scene and several gratuitous scenes of a shirtless Rampal. (Thank you!) Also, Scotland, Switzerland, the Alps and Stirling Castle. The first song is catchy with interesting choreography. There’s a sort of disturbing song with Yosh and a sort of pretend-Isha, but his clothes in this song are totally a reason to watch. Gorgeous. Some of the other song and dances were, alas, poorly choreographed and, well, one of the women had 1) the ugliest shoes ever and 2) no ability to dance in the way she was asked to dance. Rampal has very good control of his body so he’s fun to watch move. Also, he totally rocks the heat.

In the last third of this movie, it’s as if Rampal went and got acting lessons. He’s all angsty and heartbroken, and he totally steals the movie. I swear, you think he’s going to come right through the screen and grab you by the shirt, stare into your eyes and cry out, “My God, the PAIN! I LOVE her!!!! And I can’t have her.” If I knew more about movies and acting, I might be able to say why that is.

Reasons NOT to watch this Movie

In this movie, Rampal is mostly pretty good. The scenes where he had a lot of dialogue didn’t go so well for him because, well, he wasn’t playing off the others. Some bad dancing not by Rampal. Bizarre plot twists.

The take away

A qualified win. But it’s interesting.